Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Berlin Tegel - hostile for the unprepared

This is a little story of how the Berlin Tegel airport is awesome. NOT!

In Berlin they have this tiny conveyor belts just when you get of the plane and I managed to miss mine and walk to the other "room" from which they would not let me back to the belt. So I spent 15min negotiating with the security after which they decided to send me to a kind of lost&found office which was a NIGHTMARE to find because it is not marked and hidden in a maze of corridors. When I found it, the guy gave me a f*cking map of the airport with a path leading to the other side. The whole airport is a retarded maze of self-repeating hexagonal structures, where the only orientational point is the airport tower, which is about 5 meters tall :-D RIDICULOUS! I had to go outside of the airport to a shady backyard area and find a detached customs office located in a shed with nobody in it. It was an empty room with only a phone on the wall. The guy gave me a number I was supposed to call from this phone, so I did and I heard another man picking it up just behind a wall :-D I explained the situation to him and he was like "Alz rightz mizter Schvonawa, juzt a minute!". So I waited another quarter of an hour and then he appeared with my bag. I thanked him and started heading for the door and he went "Enschuldigung mizter Schvonawa, you havz to go thiz way!" pointing to another door. So I went and this room was darker and there were 2 officers siting behind a table. So I was like "nothing to do here" and I just walked to the exit on the other side. And they went "Ohoho mizter, pleaze comen sie here." They started interrogating me about why I came to Germany and just wouldn't understand what a "business trip for my startup" means. "Was is ze ztartup?" :-D After a while they asked me where I am coming from and they didn't seem to like "Zurich" as the answer.. after I gave them my Slovak passport they were totally confused and started asking about why I went to Zurich. After I told them that I live there they started LITERALLY laughing and pointing at the passport and saying "Rightz rightz.".
After I demonstrated that every millimeter of my backpack indeed only contains clothes, they let me go after which I spent another quarter hour finding my way to the bus stop on the airport.


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